Week One

This is the first time that I've been able to sit down and try to gather my thoughts after this first week on tour. It's been a complete whirlwind since I arrived. We rehearsed every afternoon and I was backstage at the show every evening (even got to sit in the pit a few times which was great.) After the Thursday rehearsal, I found out that I would actually perform in the Friday night show. It was a shock to me. I had no idea that this was planned. Turns out it's a typical thing they do for whoever is getting put into the show. Our director flew out for the Friday afternoon rehearsal. I was feeling pretty good about all of it. We even worked out the lift at the beginning of the show that I've been terrified about. The boys actually pick me up on their shoulders and parade me around the stage. It's so much fun.


(Here's the Lincoln Center production which we're based on. The part where they lift me begins around 11:46. Can you believe that they actually do this to me?)

Most of the performance on Friday night is kind of a blur to me. I still can't believe that it happened. I went on and performed the role with only 9 days of actual rehearsal time. And I didn't miss a single line. However, it felt like all the work I had done in the afternoon had flown out the window. I screamed through a lot of the first few scenes (same video as above, starting around 10:40.) Not so good. But I was making connections with the characters on stage which is the most important thing.

To be honest, it was hard to gage whether I was doing a good enough job or not while the show was going on and it got me down. The house that we're playing in (the Broward Center for Performing Arts) kind of swallows up the sound of the audience. I thought perhaps they didn't like me as a character. I couldn't hear if they were laughing at any of my lines. I barely remember taking my bow at the curtain call. After the curtain went down, the cast cheered for me. The boys gave me a huge group hug. I felt so supported by all of them. I truly needed that. My sister was able to come to the show as well and told me that the audience had been reacting to me. This all helped me feel better about the performance.

Even with all this excitement around me though, the loneliness is beginning to set in. I'm missing my friends back home and hate that I don't have the time to talk to them. I kinda need them right now. I'm missing my kitty. I'm missing my co-workers and the normal every day routine that I used to have. Coming into a tour this late makes it very odd. Even though everyone is super nice to me, I still am an outsider. These people know each other so well. They've been this tight little family now for 9 months. They all have their own groups that they hang out with. I've been secluded in the hotel, in a totally different building than the rest of the cast. While it's been nice having a room to myself and the space to get ready for what I'm about to start, it's still disconcerting not being included in the day-to-day plans that everyone makes. I know that this will get better in the coming weeks though. I'll be on the bus with everyone and will have a roommate. People will begin to get to know me soon enough, and then it'll be time to pack it all in and head home.

But it's not all mopey-dopey though. I made a connection with one cast mate who gave me some very good advice and reminded me about some very important things. I will be forever grateful to him for that. He is wise beyond his years. Now, I just need to make sure that I follow what he says - to keep my head low and stay out of the drama. (Which I've already slightly failed at. But I did my best to apologize and clean up the mess I made. Note to self: no more drinking.)

And so ends my first week on tour. Tomorrow night, I get to go on for the first time in an official capacity. From here on out, it's singing every night. No one else to rely on. No more rehearsing. I'm the only one who will be creating this character on stage. It's all in my hands.